Irina Kanunnikova, online events manager of the Urokimeditatsii project, on her path from atheism to meditation, her work on the team, kiirtan, her first song and her poetry.
We continue introducing you to the team of the Urokimeditatsii (Meditation Lessons) project. Our guest is Irina Kanunnikova, online events manager.
At Urokimeditatsii, Irina organizes intensives, retreats and Dada's lectures. Today we talk with her about meditation, creativity and the goal of life.
— Ira, you have been meditating for a long time, but you said you were an atheist for most of your life. How did that happen?
When I was little, I talked with God every night before falling asleep, but as I grew up I became an atheist. I believed that you do not have to be religious to be a good person. What is more, religious people seemed to me either weak or hypocritical, since they live by the commandments in order to get into heaven, not simply to do more good. I also believed that religion is a powerful instrument of power that governs people for profit rather than for their well-being and happiness.
— Tell us about your childhood spiritual experience. How did you talk with God?
Every day before sleep I went over my day, and I always began my conversation with God with gratitude. Then I asked forgiveness for my "sins." God, as I understood it, was an all-embracing being who was always watching over me.
I think that was my first unconscious spiritual experience.
— So what is meditation for you? Does it have anything to do with religion?
For me meditation is a philosophy, a way of life. When in meditation I touched Supreme Consciousness and felt it, my attitude toward all religions changed. Now I pay attention to the good they bring to people, and I treat them with respect.
— Tell us how you came across the Urokimeditatsii project.
One evening I was browsing various meditation techniques on YouTube, and Dada Sadananda caught my interest. I liked the scientific approach to practice that he explains in his free course. It was important for me to learn not only what to do, but also why it should be done. Dada's charm also worked. Trust in him awoke somehow by itself. I had an inner feeling that this was what I needed.
— How did your first meditation go? Did you have any difficulties with the practice?
During my first meditation I felt how restless my mind was. It was very hard to concentrate. My first meditations were short; I kept opening my eyes now and then, waiting for those ten minutes to be over.
There were all kinds of difficulties. For example, I decided right away to twist myself into a difficult A yoga posture held steadily and comfortably; it balances the glands and quiets body and mind for meditation. and injured my knee. My work schedule was hard: I was working at a 24-hour pharmacy then, with night shifts, lack of sleep and no regular schedule of work and rest. By the way, it was on a night shift at the pharmacy that I first tried to meditate. I closed the pharmacy for a break and sat down to meditate in our rest area. I remember the first years of spiritual practice with warmth. I meditated on the bus on the way to work, and right at work in the pharmacy, and I even did ásanas there during lunch breaks.
— You worked at a pharmacy, and now you work on the Urokimeditatsii team. How did that come about?
There were many reasons for leaving. One of them was the irregular working hours. After I quit, I spent some time searching for myself. I applied for various jobs and tried to go freelance, but without success.
In the end I applied for a vacancy at one of the Urokimeditatsii sister projects. I was taken onto the team part-time, and about a year later I moved to the marathons department and joined the organizational work of the Praktikuem Vmeste (Practicing Together) project.
— What exactly does your work consist of?
At the moment I organize events with Dada: meditation intensives, online retreats and live broadcasts. My tasks include liaising with speakers, agreeing on dates, drawing up the schedule, technical matters with Zoom and the YouTube broadcast, planning the program, running the events' Telegram channels, taking care of participants, planning the advertising campaign, liaising with designers and copywriters, and running the events themselves.
— Wow! You have so many tasks… I would probably have burned out long ago. How do you manage to cope with them? What inspires you?
At first it was hard. I was used to coming to work, serving my time there and going home, having forgotten almost everything. But here you have to work with your head: plan tasks, be able to set aside time for resolving unforeseen situations. Now I am at the stage where a certain well-tested system of actions has taken shape, and I am calm.
I am glad that I help people learn about something that can change their lives in a real way. The participants' feedback is very inspiring, and of course Dada is the main inspiration. I am grateful for the opportunity to be part of the good that the project does for its subscribers.
— Many of the project's offerings, including the intensives, are pay-what-you-can. Why is that? Why can't they be made completely free?
Organizing a program involves expenses, and if they are not covered, creating such offerings becomes impossible. We also have to take into account people's work, which takes a lot of time.
The position of the Urokimeditatsii project is to give as many people as possible the opportunity for spiritual growth. That is why pay-what-you-can is ideal: a person feels the value of what they receive, and at the same time can join in any financial situation.
— As an employee, do you see a difference between your previous job and your current one?
Definitely. First of all, the team. At the pharmacy there were good girls, but not all of them knew how to handle their emotional state, and some had not even heard of nonviolent communication. For me it is very important that my colleagues are spiritually mature, balanced and not toxic people. Of course, when you work with people there are always misunderstandings and difficulties, but the question is at what cost these difficulties are overcome. In the project that cost is minimal.
— You have important and interesting work, but I know that you also write poetry; your life is closely tied to creativity. Do you also make music?
It all started with the wish to play Singing a name of the Supreme together, often with a simple dance; in Ananda Marga the words are Bábá Nám Kevalam. for myself before meditation. Dada Sadananda inspired me to do this when he said that anyone can learn to play.
I bought a ukulele, learned a couple of chords, watched Dada's video teaching kiirtan, and began to play. Then I was given a classical guitar. My first song was born of two factors: the guitar I had been given and a very strong emotional shock, a turning-point event.
That night I cried all night, because it was very painful to accept what had happened to me, but at the same time I meditated and tried to trust Supreme Consciousness. I thought that even if it hurts very much now, later I would understand why, or for what purpose, it had happened. And that is how it turned out.
When it seems that the world has collapsed and nothing makes sense, it is important to understand that everything that happens to us is the result of our own actions in the past. And that means we need to focus on what fills us. These were my first steps in music.
My first song, "Light Within," was born from these thoughts.
— What are your creative plans for the future?
I plan to learn to play various musical instruments, especially guitar and keyboards, to record my songs and to publish my poems. I have accumulated many poems, sketches and finished songs.
— Will you share your favorite poem with our subscribers?
The whirl of events carries me away The heart asks for happiness in its own way Balance within, balance without Someone needs this whole world
Water flows so smoothly, gently And obstacles hold no fear for it The soul cannot be hidden under clothing The whole world is a play. Father, lead!
I will take all I need with me And set out on the road following You May truth be at my back And ahead, only bright light!
Satvarish 2023
— Finally, say a few words of support to our readers.
Friends, if one day you understood or felt that you want to meditate, stay on this path of self-knowledge. Do not give up at the first difficulty. Remember that working for the long term is more important and more valuable than a quick result, even if you cannot stop the flow of thoughts.
The process of training concentration is already meditation. Accept, love and praise yourself right now.
