Why resentment arises, how it is tied to pride, and what helps you get out of it: from the right attitude to criticism to singing kiirtan.
The answers to why resentment arises and how to get out of that state may interest anyone who has once realized how destructive this emotional reaction is.
Resentment is a paralyzing state of mental pain; staying in it for a long time leads to spiritual degeneration.
How easily you take offense is directly proportional to the size of your pride. The prouder you are, the more deeply you are hurt.
The causes of resentment
In yoga philosophy there is a saying:
An inflated ego is like drinking wine.Self-glorification leads to the deepest hell.Social prestige is like pig's excrement.
In keeping with this saying, three causes of resentment, all rooted in pride, are distinguished.
The first cause: an "inflated" ego. If you consider yourself a VIP (very important person) and expect special treatment, then when you don't get it, you feel hurt.
The second cause: self-glorification. Taking praise and compliments "to heart" leads to growing conceit, and to resentment whenever someone criticizes you.
The third cause: social status. Attachment to the trappings of social status leads to negative reactions and resentment if it seems to you that you have not received enough honor.
How not to take offense
Once you have recognized how pride influences your emotional reactions, you can bring it under control and then gradually level it out by doing the following:
- do not expect special treatment from the people around you;
- do not take compliments personally;
- respond to criticism in the right way: if there is even 1% truth in a critical remark, thank the other person and take their words as an occasion for self-development;
- regard your social status as a temporary "role" that you happen to be playing;
- sing Singing a name of the Supreme together, often with a simple dance; in Ananda Marga the words are Bábá Nám Kevalam., which lessens the sense of egotism.
By developing humility and the skill of "accepting the situation," you can greatly reduce your own touchiness and make life more positive and joyful.