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Personal practices · On your own

Physical restraint

“People should not taint their sex lives by over-indulgence. Everyone should remember that shukra is the ultimate element of the body, and if it is absent or somehow impaired, all the elements of the body may become impaired and invite attacks of various diseases.”Yogic Treatments and Natural Remedies, “Appendix B: Sex”

Watch how it is done
A woman meditating alone on the grass

Why we do it

The aim of yoga is Supreme Consciousness

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    The aim is Supreme Consciousness. The goal of yoga is far off, like a distant star system.

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    The instrument to reach that goal is the mind. It is the subtlest part of us, so it is the only part fine enough to reach the aim.

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    The method is meditation. Seeing a star takes a telescope pointed at it; reaching Supreme Consciousness takes the mind pointed at it. That is meditation.

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    The preparation and care. A telescope has to be looked after, cleaned and set right to see the stars. The mind is the same. Every practice does this for the mind, directly or through the body, because the mind is connected with the body.

    See how it leads to the goal ↓

Reaching the goal through Physical restraint

Restraint brings us to the goal through shukra and through the idea it serves. Shukra is food for the brain; wasted, the body, the mind and sádhaná suffer. But restraint is control, not suppression, and suppression is avoided only by a lofty ideal. That ideal is brahmacarya: to see Brahma in every object one meets. Then even a wandering mind does not leave Brahma, desire for the finite turns into love for the Infinite, and the mind stays attached to Brahma. That is the goal of yoga.

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    Food for the brain

    The essence of the blood becomes shukra, and shukra is food for the brain.

    “The essence of blood, when transformed, becomes shukra, and this shukra is food for the brain.”
    Caryácarya 3, “Physical Restraint”
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    When it is impaired

    When shukra is lacking or impaired, the whole constitution suffers, the body is open to disease, and mental and spiritual sádhaná suffer too.

    “In the absence of shukra, or in case of its impaired functioning, the entire constitution may be impaired, the body may become susceptible to disease, and mental and spiritual sádhaná may be impaired.”
    Caryácarya 3, “Physical Restraint”
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    Control, not suppression

    Restraint is control: desire is not killed, it is controlled. Suppression only creates a bad reaction in body and mind.

    “Such control does not imply killing the desire but controlling it. Desires and tendencies are natural attributes of a living being.”
    A Guide to Human Conduct, “Brahmacarya”
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    A lofty ideal

    The harm that suppression brings is avoided only by striving for a lofty ideal.

    “The psychological degeneration which is inherent in the suppression of psychic tendencies can be avoided only by an effort to fulfil a lofty ideal.”
    A Guide to Human Conduct, “Brahmacarya”
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    Brahma in every object

    The ideal is brahmacarya: to take every object one meets as an expression of Brahma. Then, wherever the mind wanders, it does not leave Brahma.

    “By means of such an ideation, even though the mind wanders from one object to another, it does not get detached from Brahma because of the Cosmic feeling taken for each and every object.”
    A Guide to Human Conduct, “Brahmacarya”
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    Desire becomes love

    So the pull toward crude objects turns into the pull toward the ultimate reality, and desire for the finite turns into love for the Infinite.

    “As a result of this Preya Sádhaná (extroversial approach) is converted into Shreya Sádhaná (introversial approach) and Káma into Prema.”
    A Guide to Human Conduct, “Brahmacarya”
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    Attached to Brahma

    The mind stays attached to Brahma: that is what brahmacarya means, and it is the goal.

    ““Brahmacarya” means “to keep the mind attached to Brahma”.”
    Caryácarya 3, “Physical Restraint”

What it is

Brahmacarya does not mean the preservation of shukra; neither Brahma nor carya has anything to do with it. It means to keep the mind attached to Brahma: to treat every object one comes in contact with as an expression of Brahma. But once that meaning is accepted, control in life becomes essential. Control does not mean to disobey the laws of nature; it means to abide by them.

In the sources

“In the human body, one day’s shukra becomes surplus in every twenty-eight days. In the case of unmarried males, this excess shukra is either passed out with the urine or expelled while dreaming. It is not at all abnormal for an unmarried male to have a seminal discharge three or four times a month.”Caryácarya 3, “Physical Restraint”

“In the case of married persons, sexual relations in excess of four times a month can lead to an improper waste of shukra.”Caryácarya 3, “Physical Restraint”

“Many people give the meaning of the word “Brahmacarya” as “the preservation of shukra”, but neither of the two words “Brahma” and “carya” has any relation with the retention of shukra. “Brahmacarya” means “to keep the mind attached to Brahma”. Actually the former, so-called Brahmacarya is divided into two classes called naeśt́hika and prájápatyá.”Caryácarya 3, “Physical Restraint”

“But proper control is no doubt greatly needed, not only over food and sleep, but in every walk of life. The lack of such control causes disease.”A Guide to Human Conduct, “Brahmacarya”

Brahmacarya

“Many misinterpret Brahmacarya to mean preservation of semen. It should be remembered that neither the word Brahma nor the word carya has any relevance to the word “semen”.”A Guide to Human Conduct, “Brahmacarya”

“It is certainly true that if the correct meaning of the word Brahmacarya is accepted (that is, to feel the Cosmic Entity in every material object), control in life becomes essential, but such control does not imply disobeying the laws of nature. Control means to abide by nature’s laws.”A Guide to Human Conduct, “Brahmacarya”

Masturbation and excess

Shukra is not to be wasted. Masturbation is harmful, for men and for women alike, and so is too much sex.

“Never indulge in bad practices, such as masturbation, etc.”Caryácarya 3, “General Health Rules”

“If excessive waste of semen occurs due to the bad habit of masturbation during adolescence or youth, or due to lack of restraint in married life, the seminal fluid becomes thin and the symptoms of seminal weakness appear.”Yogic Treatments and Natural Remedies, “Impotency and Infertility”

“Excessive sexual intercourse invites constipation, which pollutes the blood and brings on acidity, and this causes leucorrhoea. Virgins with the unnatural habit of masturbation invite a similar reaction, and leucorrhoea may occur.”Yogic Treatments and Natural Remedies, “Female Diseases”

How to do it

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    Naeśt́hika BrahmacaryaCaryácarya 3, “Physical Restraint”, footnote

    “Those who are unmarried will follow naeśt́hika Brahmacarya. That is to say, they will never let shukra be wasted beyond the normal surplus.”

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    Prájápatyá BrahmacaryaCaryácarya 3, “Physical Restraint”, footnote

    “And those who are married will follow prájápatyá Brahmacarya, i.e., they will try not to have sexual relations more than four times in a month.”

Take care

  • “People who by different suppressive methods seek to prevent the discharge of semen, create a bad reaction on their body and mind. Their bodies become rough and lack in lustre. A suppression of the sexual desire results in other desires, especially anger, taking a more terrible form.”A Guide to Human Conduct, “Brahmacarya”
  • “But at the same time, attempts at birth control by physical damage to men or women, or by permanent destruction of their procreative capacity, can never be supported, because such attempts may bring about a severe mental reaction in them at any time. But if one has to accept permanent birth control for some special reason, then permission should be requested from the ácárya. The ácárya in such cases will ascertain the views of the Ácárya Board and then guide the person.”Caryácarya 3, “Physical Restraint”

Stories

  • Its job and yours

    A whole time worker once got an opportunity to accompany Bábá in field walk for three consecutive days at Ranchi. On the first day in the field walk he asked Bábá "Bábá, sex troubles me a lot, what to do?" Bábá kept mum. On the second day, he again put the same question to Bábá. Bábá again kept mum. On the third day, he repeated the same question to Bábá, upon which Bábá said "Oh fool! It is the job of sex to trouble you and it is your job to control it". …Read the story

    — Kamal Kumar, retelling what a whole-time worker asked Bábá on field walk at Ranchi (the chapter is headed “My Indirect Experiences about Bábá”), Kamal Kumar, “My Experiences with Bábá”, “5.15 Controlling Sex”

  • The best company

    The scriptures say, "Satsaunge svargavása, asatsaunge sarvanásha—if you have good company, you will go to heaven; if you have bad company, you will go to hell." Bábá said that although reading good books, watching good movies, having good people around you, and eating sentient food, are all satsauṋga, "the best satsauṋga is being with Parama Puruśa― to think of Him always."Read the story

    — A monk close to Bábá, Ác. Shamitánanda Avadhúta, “Bábá Unparalleled: 102 Stories”, no. 98

What Shrii Shrii Ánandamúrti said

  • “Marriage is a natural function like bath, food, sleep, etc. Therefore, there is nothing to be condemned in it, nor does it go against dharma.”
    A Guide to Human Conduct, “Brahmacarya”
  • “Food is essential for life, but absence of control over eating causes indigestion. A bath is refreshing, but in absence of control over bath, i.e., a long-continued bath, would make one catch cold. Similarly, marriage has its function but the absence of restraint in married life would cause various diseases in body and mind.”
    A Guide to Human Conduct, “Brahmacarya”
  • “So as regards the question of restraint and lack of restraint, the more one practises restraint, the greater will be his or her well-being.”
    Caryácarya 3, “Physical Restraint”

Videos

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