Is this my path?

From time to time doubts arise in people's lives, and this question comes up: maybe this isn't my path? Maybe it's not for me?

In general, doubt is an inherent property of the mind, and it has two faces: one is very, very good, and the other is very, very bad.

The good face of doubt is the mind's striving for truth. If we are striving for truth, we need an open mind, ready to part with our misconceptions. An open mind means being ready to change your worldview, your inner philosophy, and, if it turns out that some beliefs are misconceptions, to part with them without any regret at all.

For an open mind to stay open, we need to cultivate doubt.

Doubt means this: we took something unknown as food for thought, checked it, double-checked it, and then accepted it as our conviction. If something new that we receive contradicts this conviction, once again thesis–antithesis–synthesis arises. I checked, double-checked, understood, built on it, completed it, realized it. And this is the path of a seeker of truth.

All seekers of truth move along this path one way or another. In the material world, this is how a scientist seeks truth. In the spiritual, subjective world, a mystic, a yogi, also seeks truth. The very same process takes place.

And the mind cannot be closed. It has to be open.

In life only two types of people do not doubt. The first type is the one who is already at the end of the seeker's path. He is an expert; he has gained such deep knowledge that he no longer needs to doubt. For example, a person who has spent his whole life in construction, or repairing cars, or programming has gained deep knowledge in his field. He knows his work and does it precisely, properly and successfully; he has no need to waste time on unnecessary deliberation. From the outside he may look self-assured — and really, why doesn't he doubt? Why is he so sure? Because this person has deep knowledge in his field.

The other type is his exact opposite — a person who has no knowledge but does have convictions. He liked something sentimentally, emotionally, and adopted it as his conviction. From then on he will defend these convictions regardless of how well they actually match the objective world. That is, it often happens like this: you see something round but in your mind consider it square. Obviously, in that case your actions will not be appropriate; they will give rise to mistakes and give rise to suffering. We need to try to move away from this type of thinking.

It is said that the very first position of a student is an open mind, the position "I don't know. I am ready to admit that everything in my head may be subject to change." Obviously, this doesn't mean rejecting all the sound ideas already present in your mind, but you need to check, double-check, and only then accept. This is the positive side of doubt — the striving for truth.

There is also a negative side. These are doubts of the kind "I'm not sure. Is this my path?" At the beginning of the path a person always meets difficulties, and doubts of this kind serve as an excuse to stop making efforts; it is simply laziness, unwillingness to grow, or inner stagnation. These doubts are very negative; we need to fight them and not allow them any influence at all.

When does doubt arise? When our expectations don't match reality. What we expect doesn't coincide with what is. An example: the expectation is meditation, sitting with a halo over our head; the reality is twenty-five million thoughts swarming inside our brain, and this inner process tears us apart from within and won't let us concentrate at all. And so it is with everything: when expectations don't coincide with reality, doubts arise like "maybe this isn't for me, maybe this isn't my path." Yes! It isn't yours. Today it is not your path; there is no way it can be yours. When you take up anything for the first time — meditation, music, construction, it doesn't matter — on that very first day when you sat down and began to meditate, it cannot be yours! It was never yours! Today it cannot be yours. Unless you are a genius, or unless perhaps you meditated over several past lives — then you simply sit down and simply remember and enjoy; for you it is easy and natural, you have been waiting for this all your life. That happens too; I know some people like that. But mostly you are a beginner, and it comes hard to you.

However, once you have put fifty hours into it, then another hundred hours, and more — it is already becoming "a little bit yours."

And if you put another thousand hours into it, it becomes thoroughly yours. Put ten thousand hours into it, and it will become yours, and people will say, "Well! That's your thing!"

Twenty years ago I wanted to give lectures, to give classes. And I went to my Dada with this: "Dada, I want to give lectures." He answered: "Really?! Great! Come on, I'll teach you; you'll give lectures instead of me, you'll replace me!" And he began to train me, advising me on how to structure my presentation properly, how to build a lecture plan, how to gesture, where to look, and so on.

"Gestures, gestures, eyes, eyes…" I say, "Gestures, gestures, eyes, eyes…" And he says, "Not like that, that's not it!" Dozens of times I try to repeat what he wants from me, and I can't do it. After a few days he sighed and said, "I officially admit that I have failed. You are untalented and hopeless. Better take up something else. Public speaking is not your thing." Then Dada left, and I kept trying, kept giving classes. At first it was very clumsy. But over time I began to feel more and more natural, and some people started telling me, "Well! That's your thing!" They didn't know how many thousands of hours had been put in before it became "mine."

When a person comes to the spiritual path, they gain a longing for the infinite. The very nature of spiritual practice is such that it gradually awakens the subtle layers of the mind. With their whole being a person begins to sense what lies beyond, and gains this experience. Priorities change, and along with their temporary goals a person also gains an infinite one.

Because the most important thing is to sort out what in life is positive and what is negative. If it brings even a little benefit, if it has a good influence, I will do it. If I find something more effective, without a doubt I will give up the old and do the more effective thing. But just because today my expectations don't match what I am getting, I will not give up what I am doing. I will keep doing it; I will be content with the little I receive, because I know I am moving forward, and that inspires me. And tomorrow my achievements will exceed my expectations; so doubts simply need to be cut out of your life, and you must in no way give in to them.

There are three types of people. Some never start anything, because they doubt they are capable of anything at all. Others start, but as soon as difficulties arise, they stop. And the third type of people are those who, overcoming the difficulties and doubts that arise, become successful in the end. We need to be the third type of people.

The first principle of success, the most important one: "I must be successful in my mission. I am bound to succeed." Under no circumstances allow any doubt about this. You will certainly succeed! And only a few thousand hours separate you from success — the hours you will invest in that success. That's all.

Otherwise we will be running away from life all the time. Running away into easy things. "Meditate? That's not my thing. Do yoga? That's not my thing. Study at university? I'd rather sit on VKontakte, that's my thing. Or play a computer game — now that's my thing." That is, the brain will always look for easy ways. And meanwhile we are deceiving ourselves. That is the worst deception of all. But if we don't live in self-deception, we have every chance of success.

What does "not my path" mean? Everything is your path. Everything that is positive is your path. And you will be successful in all things.