Knowing how to accept criticism protects you from frustration and gives an impetus to growth. How to tell constructive criticism from slander, and what to do when there is even a grain of truth in the critic's words.
Knowing how to accept criticism properly is an important skill that protects you from frustration and keeps your nervous system calm. With this skill a person gets the most benefit from criticism, making it constructive for themselves. The right attitude to criticism gives an impetus to growth and positive change. We need to open up to criticism and let it in. But first we need to make sure that it really is constructive criticism and not an attack, slander, or malicious gossip based on lies.
The causes of malicious gossip
Slander and malicious gossip rest on lies. We can count several reasons for lying. The first is ignorance, that is, the person doesn't understand what they are doing. They pass on unreliable information they heard somewhere. The second reason is that someone's selfish interests have been hurt. The third reason is lying out of an inner, inborn tendency toward harm — hiḿsá A mental tendency or propensity, such as fear, longing or love; fifty are described in all.. Such a tendency toward harm comes from the activity of the lower A center of psychic energy in the body; seven major ones lie along the spine.. In a word, a person expresses their inner malice and dissatisfaction through gossip and slander.
Slander… What to do?
If it is non-constructive criticism and really is slander and malicious gossip, you need to calmly explain things to the slanderer, pointing out their mistake and explaining the reasons why people lie. However, if there is even 1% of truth in the person's words, you need to calmly accept it. If you accept the criticism, you should thank the person for pointing out your mistake. Surprisingly, this works very effectively. That is, you thank the other person, saying "thank you," and at the same time you don't go into confrontation with them.
How to accept criticism properly
What do we usually do when we hear criticism directed at us? We start rejecting it, bringing out various arguments from the arsenal of methods we learned at the age of five. And we try to deny objective reality.
But if it really is true, it is much simpler not to resist reality but to accept it completely and at once. Yes, it is painful — sometimes a little, sometimes quite a lot — but then we won't have to spend time and energy building and maintaining illusory excuses in our own defense.
It takes far less energy to admit your mistake, admit your fault, and thank the person for pointing the mistake out to us
The next, higher step in accepting criticism is to ask its author for advice on what can be done and how to put the situation right. Tell the person that they must have thought it through well if they are pointing out your mistake, since they know that critical remarks will be unpleasant for the other person, that is, for you. Ask them for advice very sincerely, and then the incident will be closed. If what the person tells you turns out to be reasonable and right, be sure to try to apply it in your life.
Accepting criticism properly: what is the benefit?
As a result of the right attitude to criticism, all your behavior will gradually change for the better. Moreover, this pattern of behavior will earn you the respect of other people, since it is a sign of maturity and sound judgment. That is, if a person is not ready to admit and accept their mistake and not ready to respond positively to criticism, you can probably deal with them, but only within limits. You cannot fully rely on such a person.
A mature adult takes criticism soberly as feedback and responds to that feedback constructively, rather than making a storm in a teacup
So a constructive response to criticism is a skill useful in many ways, one that helps prevent the negative effects of frustration on our nervous system and psyche. If there is truth in the words of a person who seems to you to be attacking you, accept it calmly, don't fight, thank them, and ask for advice on how you can improve. In many life situations this principle will help you avoid unnecessary worry and learn a useful lesson.