Self-realization · 1 of 11
Who am I?
Not the body, and not the feeling of “I” either. Behind both stands the one who witnesses them.
On each page the marked passages are the words of Shrii Shrii Ánandamúrti, from the books. The lines between them are ours and only lead from one passage to the next.
Neither the body nor the átman
The question starts from an ordinary way of speaking. We say “my body”, and we say “my soul”. Whoever says “my” is the owner of both, and so is neither of them.
In human beings consciousness is fully and clearly reflected in a physical body made of the five rudimental factors derived from the Cosmic body of the Qualified Supreme Entity (Saguńa Brahma). This clear reflection of consciousness is unit consciousness (átman), and the physical body of the five factors which receives this reflection is called the human body. Thus a human being has unit consciousness (átman) and body. Being the possessor of these two shows that a human being is neither of these. If human beings were átman (unit consciousness) they could not claim it as their átman, and alternatively were they bodies only, they could not say, “This is my body.” They are different from these two.
The feeling of “I” is an idea
What, then, is the one who says “I”? A thought. It needs consciousness in order to arise, as a plank needs a tree.
The pure feeling of “I” is only an abstract idea. A little introspection would show that this feeling of “I exist” is an idea. It comes about as a result of thinking. This feeling of “I” can come only when there is consciousness; and it is with consciousness or jiṋána that one can take an idea and think or perform some action.
Human beings’ feeling of “I” is thus entirely dependent on unit consciousness, just as the existence of a plank of wood is dependent on a tree. The plank cannot be called a tree, and similarly this entity of “I” cannot be unit consciousness.
One “I”, three functions
The mind that says “I” works in three ways at once. The example is a person reading a book.
The “I” that gives me consciousness or the “I” which witnesses the existence of my mind and therein of the “I” which gives the feeling “I exist” is átman or unit consciousness. The “I” that gives the feeling of “I exist” and also proves the existence of átman or unit consciousness, is mahattattva. The “I” that works or sees the book is ahaḿtattva and the portion of mind that takes the shape of the book and enables ahaḿtattva to see it is citta.
Mahattattva is the bare sense of existing; ahaḿtattva is the doer; citta is the mind-stuff that takes the shape of what is perceived. All three are mind. The átman is the one who witnesses them.
The actor and the role
If the “I” is a role, who plays it? The picture is of an actor named Rama playing an emperor on the stage.
For example, a person called Rama while acting as Shahjahan on the stage will be called Shahjahan and not Rama. Rama playing the role of Shahjahan will not be the real personality of Rama. It will be only a changed or assumed personality, and as long as he continues to act that role, he will be called Shahjahan and not Rama. Similarly, as long as the feeling of “I” is the person’s identity, the person will be different from his or her átman or Bhagaván, and the person with this feeling of “I” will remain only a changed or assumed form of unit consciousness (átman).
The unit consciousness neither performs any actions, nor experiences any results. It only witnesses the actions and also the results thereof.
So the answer has two halves. In daily life “I” is a part of the mind. In truth I am the witness of that mind; and when the play is over, the actor is himself again.